Deborah Redfern

Everyone’s story is different. Although you may know your story at some level, it is a very useful exercise to write your personal life story because this will help you remember pivotal details, gain a sense of perspective and overview that will enable you to link seemingly unrelated into a whole. In other words, it will help you see the ‘big picture’. This exercise can also help you find clues that explain the underlying motivations and triggers behind all you do.  When I did this exercise I found myself remembering details about my life that helped me understand how I got to be where I am today.

It is said that we begin life by standing on the shoulders of our ancestors and with that foundation we build new experiences that shape the person we grow into.

We carry our family heritage with us. Some family stories you may identify with more than others. For example my Mother’s side of my family is French – several generations back. I imagine their voyage across the Atlantic Ocean to a new life in a foreign land. Even though now I am aware that nearly every family had some sort of similar story, at that time, as a young girl born outside of Toronto, Canada, it felt very exotic to me and coloured my perception of who I was.

So your story will begin with your family of birth – whatever you know of it – this includes parents, grandparents and ancestors further back. It also includes siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles and close family friends.

You also have a story that is separate from that of your parents. I believe this begins in play-time, in the fantasy world children create for themselves. This is our secret life. As we go through all the different stages of life, a new chapter is begun. We Another chapter of our life starts during our school years, adolescence, puberty, relationships with friends, falling in love, moving out on your own, starting a family with someone else.

You do not need to go into great detail with this life story. You can gain much valuable information by writing even a brief an outline of brief notes and points, and you can, at any time, go back and add details. You can use this list as a guideline to get you started.

My parents are -

…My relationship with them is -

They were born in (location & circumstances) -

Notable events in my parent’s lives -

My grandparents are -

…My relationship with them is -

They were born in (location & circumstances)

-Notable events in my grandparent’s lives -

The circumstances of my birth were -

What I was like as a baby -

First memory is -

What I was like as a school aged child -

My siblings are -

…My relationship with my siblings is -

My best friends were -

…My relationship with them was -

Happiest times of my childhood were -

Saddest times of my childhood were -

Transition into puberty was -

High school years were -

Triumphs as a teenager were -

Difficulties as a teenager were -

First love/crush/boyfriend-girlfriend experience was -

Leaving home (for work or education) was -

First job was -

Recurring feelings during my childhood were -

Other memories that are important in making me who I am today -

(c) Deborah Redfern, 2008. All rights reserved.