Feng Shui Coaching

The events that happened during your childhood planted seeds in your soul, and these seeds grew into the beliefs you have about yourself and the world. But at any stage in your life, you have the opportunity to change those beliefs. You can give the events of your life a different meaning, or a different outcome.

By consciously changing the meaning you gave events, you also change the unconscious beliefs and agreements you made about yourself - beliefs that can cause low self esteem, negative thoughts about yourself as well as energy blockages.

For example, a number of years ago I worked in a center with several other practitioners. One day I came into the office and one of the other practitioners told me he had helped himself to my rose essential oil to scent the air. Intellectually I told myself that I should be generous and share my resources. My feelings told a different story - I was appalled because the pure rose essential oil I had purchased for my work was about $2.00 for a single drop! I also felt disrespected and taken advantage of.

I really didn’t know what to say… I didn’t feel safe enough to share how I was really feeling and I didn’t know how to voice it without causing a confrontation. I hoped that he would be able to read my tone of voice and body language and realize that it really wasn’t acceptable to use my essential oils. But my oils continued to be used whenever I wasn’t in the office, and I felt I was at fault. By not speaking up right away, it damaged our relationship and eventually I moved to another office.

In the years that followed, I often asked myself how I should have handled that problem. Each time I revisited it, my first thoughts were: I should have said something. Years later, I still blamed myself for being weak. Finally I decided to try giving it a new meaning.

In the new meaning I clearly saw that the practitioner’s actions were inappropriate, but in reaction to this I saw my behaviour as gracious and diplomatic. I did not want to embarrass him by pointing his bad behaviour out. I also wrote a new outcome to help me release the negativity of the incident. I imagined myself being strong but gentle in addressing the problem the first time it happened. I saw myself offering to make a custom blend that he could use for his treatments - and then sell to his clients for home use. I imagined us working out the financial details in such a way that he finally recognized the value of my essential oils. It was a win-win solution that gave him an opportunity to promote my work and to honorably pay me for my expertise and resources.

You now have the opportunity to release any coping mechanisms and survival skills that no longer serve you. Using the flower exercise from Day 2, identify any coping mechanisms you no longer need and wish to let go of. Rewrite your story and release any agreements you made about yourself.

(c) Deborah Redfern, 2008. All rights reserved.