Facing Fears: Illuminating the Shadow Self
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. ~Eleanor Roosevelt.
As you get clear on who you are and what you want in life, it is valuable to examine your fears. Swiss psychologist, Carl Jung called fears the ‘shadow self’. He said it was the part we deny or suppress because it makes us feel uncomfortable or afraid.
Fear is actually a normal and natural part of life related to basic survival skills. It is an instinctive response that helps us get out of harms way. I believe all fears can be traced back to these instinctive survival skills and since most of us live in a safe environment (compared to, for instance, a prehistoric women who risked bumping into a Sabre-Toothed Tiger on her way to the river for water) our fears are a way to keep those survival skills sharp.
However natural it is, we are not very comfortable with having fears. As much as we would like to ignore them, they have a tendency to follow us wherever we go, just like our shadow. Fears are behind self-judgment and the labels we give ourselves. They hold us back from doing the things we would really like to try, make us feel embarrassed, ashamed, humiliated, and defensive. No wonder we try to hide and ignore them!
The problem with this is that fears that are resisted tend to become even stronger. Fear has the power to block you and keep you from going forward with your life. However, shine a little light on a fear and watch what happens. It is as if that Sabre-Toothed Tiger shrinks to the size of a mouse. It might still be ferocious, but nothing you can’t handle.
We shine light on fears by naming and sharing them. When we share a fear we often discover that what we thought was personal and particular to us, are not. If we all talked about our fears, we would soon realize that everyone has them – often the exact same fears – and their power over us diminishes.
To begin taming your fears, make a list of your fears without judging them, or yourself. Choose some of these fears to share with a trusted friend.
(c) Deborah Redfern 2008. All rights reserved.
